Body Hair, OH MY!

Legs. Armpit. Arms. Ass crack. Chin. Cooch. Balls. What do these body areas have in common? Scary, body hair (ahhhhhhhhhhh!!).

Ever since starting my feminist journey, I have always wondered why people are so weirded out by hair, one of the most natural things on our body.

I asked a couple friends about their views of body hair. Winter expressed she hates body hair, which of course I already knew. She also added that is for her body, “I don’t care one way or the other what a guy or girl does for hair removal unless we will be getting naked together.” Another friend of mine, Faith, explained she pays a “shit ton” of money on shaving products. A reason to the money spent could be seen in her response to a question how her day is effected by not shaving, she responded with, “I’m usually very aware if I have not shaved and I think about it throughout the day.”

Ancient pubic volsellas

For thousands of years, hair has gone through stages of repulsion for different body regions. According to MIC, caveman removed hair from their face for safety with sharpened rocks while Egyptians removed all of their hair, except their eyebrows, for cleanliness. Ancient Romans used shaving as a status symbol, especially for women. This is when shaving standards for women began. The desperation to show one’s status was so intense that when a girl entered puberty, her pubic hair was removed with “volsellas” (aka ancient pubic tweezers, OUCH!).

The pressure on women shaving their legs and pubic region was relieved when Queen Elizabeth I came into power. However, women manicuring their eyebrows became very important at this time, along with men and their facial hair.

The lack of pressure was maintained in the 18^th and 19^th centuries. For those women who chose to shave (primarily dancers/entertainers) used the new safer razors marketed for men. It wasn’t until the 1900s when a razor blade for women was promoted.

1915 ad warning
women of armpit hair

Conveniently, in 1915, advertising warning the dangers of underarm hair began (per womenyoushouldknow.net). This advertising not only pushed to decrease self-confidence, but also entice fear of being alone and without a husband. The wrath of leg shaving didn’t return until the 1940s when WWII starved America of nylon (used for stockings/pantyhose). Imagine, not being able to hide leg hair, the depravity! The full bush went out of style in the 1980s. In 1987, waxing became a hit! This was intensified by mass media and commercialization. The purpose of shaving has transitioned throughout history, from safety to cleanliness to a status symbol to trying to look like the model on TV.

My legs after a month of not shaving
(and a life time of no sun...)

A new movement hitting the body hair scene is embracing what “mother nature” has given us. I attempted this idea by not shaving my legs for a month and it was extreme anticlimactic. When I made the choice to not shave, I thought I would either feel super liberated or uncomfortable. Turns out, I felt the exact same. I pay who know how much money a year on shaving products just to feel the exact same without shaving. That’s ridiculous! To be honest, my fiancé wasn’t the most excited, but our intimacy did not change and we even had a quick joke when he would stroke from my ankle to my knee (I could see the cringe in his eyes).

Sadly, I do have to admit, my relief was overwhelming when I shaved my legs. I didn’t have the chance to wear a cute skirt or shorts due to the weather, however, I look forward to trying this experiment again when it’s warmer. I especially can’t wait for the glares and judgement by those who have been taught that women will only walk out of the house with no obscene body hair.

Another testimony from a women who abandoned the hair stigma discusses her transition from waxing to asking why am I even doing this? Check out her story at this link.

I haven't decided one way or another about indefinitely keeping my legs hairy. (What can I say, society has its rigid claws in me.) Hopefully this brought some cringes, laughs, and knowledge. Have a wonderful and safe New Year!

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

Being a Feminist AND Engaged

When I first became engaged to my amazing man hunk, I had some major conflicts to settle within myself. First, would I change my name? Second, who am I going to piss off when I make my decision?

I, personally, enjoy the idea of changing my name. It won't be a new me, I'm already way too awesome to start that over. However, it will kick start a new chapter in my life. As expected, my mother, and the general feminist ideology, do not find the idea so pleasant. For the last six months, this battle has been rolling around my head.

In an article on Bustle by Bibi Deitz, the idea of changing your name can be seen as a feminist act. Changing my name is a choice that can only be decided by me. Who is going to the DMV? I am. Who is going to the Social Security office? I am. Who is changing their information with their employer? I am. The choice must be made before the actions. Although it may not align with most feminists' ideology concerning marriage, it is a personal choice that should be respected. Shaming each other won't do any good. If it is seen as wrong by someone, how does shaming help? Two wrongs do not make a right. ("Wrong" is relative in this statement.) 

One of my favorite values is respecting choices of others. It is no ones position to make up someones mind, and vice versa. This, however, creates a lot of conflict between the feminist I have grown into and the culture around me. 

The Ozarks is made up of mostly Scotch-Irish and German (on the northern parts). The idea of a woman being submissive, especially in public, has been bred in our culture for generations. (Even though I have plenty of stories from older generations about women being the dominate partner behind closed doors, concerning finances and discipline.) The perception of an obedient and quiet woman has been drooled over by men in every culture, ours just had isolation to allow that mentality to stay for as long as it has. (Native Americans were even wary of some parts of the Ozarks due to terrain.)

Although, in my mind, I know the practice is patriarchal and only enables the system to stay in place, I have been raised with the tradition a woman takes her forever love's name when she takes his hand. As much as I want to say "I would never do that" or "My name doesn't need to change to be in harmony with someone," my feelings don't align with those statements. I enjoy the idea of having my husband's last name for unity with future offspring, which is a super controversial statement.

Jill Filipovic wrote an article explaining if changing your surname was a valid reason for unity "make it the wife's." Many women are beginning to not change their surname. According to the New York Times in 2015, approximately 20 percent of women married around the time kept their surnames, higher than the 14 percent from the 1980s. From my personal experience, this revolution has not spread in the Ozarks, especially more rural areas. The majority of women I know that have recently gotten married has changed their surname to the husband's. 

Another idea is to reject using the phrase "maiden name," whether you change your name or not. Brita Long explain in her article "I Didn't Keep My Maiden Name" that although she did not change her name she refuses to refer to her last name as a "maiden name." She goes into detail about the history of the phrase and that even keeping your last name can still be degrading by referring to your last name being "unmarried" and "virgin."

As you have read, this is not the easiest decision to make. I'm sure people from with any of the opinions listed will have a few things to say to me along with a wagging finger. All I have to say is, I will respect your choices, so please respect mine.

As for my final verdict on what my surname will be...I guess we'll all find out in six months.

Have a wonderful week! 

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

Oh Yeah, I Said 'Feminist'

It is amazing how offended people get when someone says "feminist." I could literally hear people's butt holes pucker and see their eyes go wide from fear of the two hour speech on 21st century feminism ideology. When some hear the "f" word, the image of strong willed woman who have never used a razor and doesn't wear a bra pop in their head. This woman is yelling and slashing down all of the men in sight. As much as I admire this made up woman, this is normally not the case.

People, especially men, have been trained to fear the growth of power among women in society. If you ask me, which you are if you're reading this, that is freaking ridiculous! Women getting equal rights implies things will then be, well, equal. We are not planning on putting men in chains or having public castrations. My only advice is they need to calm the fuck down!

When I first told my fiance of my feminist ways, he was a wee bit nervous. Before he asked about the length of my armpit hair, I asked him if he believed in equal rights and pay for women. He said, "Yes, of course." With a big grin on my face and hands on my hips, I informed him, he in fact was also a feminist (he still won't admit it....for now).

Within the past year, I have embraced my feminist-ness, especially during the election. Women have fought and died for us to vote, why waste that? Keep their voices alive. Increasing rights and awareness is started with votes. Policy change is not simple and needs people to come out and vote!

Women in the U.S. have worked hard to get where we are. According to Wikipedia (don't forget to donate!), there have been three waves of feminism - suffrage, cultural, and global feminism. Most recently, we have entered a fourth wave concerning reproductive rights, male feminism, and support for transgender peoples. These are some scary times, politically speaking. Stay aware and be an informed citizen. That can be your biggest weapon against injustice!

Last thought, don't be ashamed of being a feminist. Shout it from the top of a roof top if you want to! Instead of being scared of what others will think, show them there should be no fear of equality.

Have a great week, ya'll!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Be 100% You (Video)

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

"You are you! That is truer than true! No one alive can be you-er than you!" -Dr. Seuss

"Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else." - Judy Garland

You are beautiful and deserve respect! No one has the right to tear you down. You have the right to walk away from that person without a blink.

I hope this message can find some people who are struggling with their confidence or is an environment filled with disrespect and degradation.

Keep your head up high and show the world just how bad ass you truly are!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Hear Bon Roar

Let's see if I can get this straight. The stereotypical Ozarks woman will be quiet and minor mannered. Before staying out late or going out with friends she will ask permission from her male spouse. She will blush and shy away from "locker room talk." She knows her place, which is barefoot, pregnant, and permanently planted in the kitchen. If you have any other stereotypes to share feel free to comment or email.

Now that we got that out of the way, it's time to introduce you to a true bad ass woman, born and raised in the Ozarks. Bon Tindle has fought for the houseless*, refugees, and people living below the poverty line. During the interview with Bon, she explained she was never like the girl who was praised for being "so easy to get along with," adding "that ain't me." Instead, she has taken an assertive and take'm by the balls approach, which has assisted her in pushing through the challenges she has had for being a woman in a conservative area.

Having faced many obstacles within her lifetime, Bon has not let it tear her down or dampen her fire. For example, Bon mentioned a time she was working as middle management at a small sales business in Springfield. After confronting upper management about an employee in a subordinate position making $8,000 more than her, the only excuse was "he has kids."

Bon did not take this reason lightly. "Just because I keep my uterus in check doesn't mean I deserve less and I've done this and this and this," was Bon's response. "I ended up leaving the company because they wouldn't increase my wages at all and it was simply because I was a woman. Every other man at that level made more than me by a significant amount."

Bon has been active in local protests and movements by standing with the protesters, writing articles about the events/issues, and being constantly aware of the rights of the people. During the Slut Walk in 2015, the Springfield city council passed a law for more restrictions on indecent exposure. Bon stayed aware of this and was not shy to voice her concerns about the coincidence of a law being passed effecting the dress of women and the soon approaching peaceful assembly, the Slut Walk. According to the Springfield News-Leader,  councilmen Burnett was quoted saying he was opposed to the protest, even stating it was "appalling" to him. Later, Bon and Burnett met, coming to some agreement on the actions and beliefs of both parties. After this point, Burnett became seemingly more aware of the issues of the community on a citizen level.

Bon has also worked closely with the homeless population in Springfield, including taking supplies to homeless camps, writing articles about the injustices happening, and attending city council meetings to confront the issue head on.She has been known to gather food, clothing, hygiene products, and other essentials, then taking them herself to homeless camps. All after meeting the leader of the camp to ensure all needs have been met. Her passion for the homeless began when she was attacked and soon after became homeless.

"Everyone just thought I couldn't keep my shit together, in reality, I was completely destroyed inside because no one knew what had happened they just thought I was a screwed up kid. First of all, just having been through the experience, but then also seeing how the system is slanted against people."

Acting as Secretary for Springfield Welcome Home, Bon, along with many other volunteers, are there to help refugees coming into Southwest Missouri. The organization provides living essentials and the support of a community. The Springfield group started in December 2015 in response to the Syrian refugee crisis.

Bon's challenges and accomplishments have led to her badassness. I'm ending this with a little piece of advice from Bon, "Don't be afraid to say 'fuck you' and don't be afraid to walk away. You do not need everyone and not everyone needs you. I think we are so trained to be people pleasers that if someone doesn't like us [then] we failed, don't be afraid to fail in that kind of way."

Continue to rock on and have a wonderful day, my lovely readers!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

(P.S. Look up Bon Tindle on Facebook and Twitter to see what else she does in the community! Also, she has frequent community chats at Mudhouse, in Springfield downtown.)

*I was corrected by a man in mid interview with Bon at Mudhouse, as someone who is "houseless" he prefered the term. He is the expert in his life. Possible post about houselessness to come.

Officially Hello! (Video)

Yep, that's me. I'm 23 years old, a student, engaged (happily), full-time employee, and no longer a "closet feminist." Please, let me know if you have any neat ideas about a post, credit will be given if applicable. Let's get this started!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

(P.S. I got a little rambly, and if it bugs you......sorry (refer to blog about saying sorry too much).)

Glory of a "Me Date"

We all now the cliche "you can't truly love someone, until you love yourself." I'm here to agree with that over used saying. I am a young female student who also happens to be engaged. While I enjoy dates with my man hunk, I look forward to what I like to call my "me dates." In fact, I had one today consisting of having some coffee on Springfield's downtown followed taking my lunch to go to the hookah lounge down the street. The only thing to take up my attention was people watching, writing to my lovely readers, and getting engulfed in a zombie trilogy. The tunes playing through my headphones brought to life The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, Led Zeppelin, Queen, and all the greats.


A year ago, going to the movie theaters or eating in a restaurant (not fast-food) by myself would never happen. My self-doubt would flare up; "What if someone hits on me?", "What if I get kidnapped?!", and the all too familiar "What if people think I'm sad?".

Well, here are my responses to those pesky insecurities;

"What if someone hits on me?"
Uhhh, no thank you. I'm not interested, have a great day. (I refuse to use my relationship status as a reason or excuse to turn someone down. I simply don't want to be apart of that conversation, so no.)

"What if I get kidnapped?!"
Movies and documentaries have trained me well (along with my mother). I have some handy pepper spray. I do not need other people with me constantly to provide safety. I am not a child or incapable of taking care of myself, instead I am a grown ass woman who is aware of safety precautions (blog to come). Keep in my mind, though, my "me dates" do not include walking in dark alleys or shady clubs.

"What if people think I'm sad?"
Now this is ridiculous. When looking back on every time I've gone to the movies or out to eat and saw someone by themselves, I never thought "Wow, they need a hug." I would just smile their direction and continue on with my business. Most of the time, they would smile back. "Me dates" tend to reset my mood for the rest of the week, making it better for me and everyone around me.

Don't be afraid to date yourself! Whether you're single, in a relationship, or have been married for a decade, you are the main character in your story. Remember you are important! Hopefully, a nice "me date" will give you a chance to see just how amazing you are.

Have a great day, lovely readers!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Equality for All, Not Just "Us"

We need each other to progress.

A little tidbit about myself. I am a pre-admission Social Work student at Missouri State University (MSU) in Springfield, MO. I am so far, yet so close to finishing this forever degree. I have an Associates of Degree in Teaching and spent my practicum in the Chadwick (super tiny town southeast of Springfield, MO) school district. My time in Chadwick and Springfield has given me prospective from two completely different views of the Ozarks. While Chadwick has the mentality "everyone knows each other" and might be kin somewhere down the line, Springfield on the other hand let's people be individuals without the stigma of their last name or other family member's actions. While Chadwick will rally of it's citizens to help one of their own, Springfield citizens might be more cautious of helping every individual they see with a need. Both communities have issues, but both have beautiful attributes. Being aware of both the problems and beauty can keep advocates, activists, and policy makers sane.

Picture from transitioningtome.blogspot.com

There are so many social issues being addressed today, such as LGBT rights, domestic violence victim advocacy, homelessness, poverty and many more. All of these issues are extremely important, not only to people being directly affected, but also to those living in this area. Some people see these issues as separate social problems that need to be acknoledged and remedied. I believe the opposite. Social issues tend to not effect one person at a time, instead, it may be a chain reaction. For example, a 17 year old who lives in a rural area comes out to their parents who are not accepting. The teenager may then be kicked out and be forced to be homeless. Due to lack of resources for the homeless in the rural area, the young teen comes to Springfield for shelter (since the teenager is 17, social services may not be called). Or a 23 year old female is in a co-abusive relationship (meaning both partners are abusive to each other). After a heavy night of drinking, the female is beaten to a point of needing to receive emergency services. However, the female does not have a job that provides insurance or makes enough money to go to a clinic. (For this specific case, if she did go to the hospital, a police officer would be called to investigate the industry.) Instead, her injuries are not seen to and neither is her safety.

Above is only two examples of hundreds. As advocates, activists, and policy makers it is our duty to ensure equality of income, assets, rights, and safety for all, not just the group you are apart of.
Thank you to all of the people out there fighting the good fight. Protect self, group, and community!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Guilty Feminist Moment #1

Everyone has morals and values that people may not be able to follow 100% of the time. I am not immune to this fact, especially, when living in an area that tends to have opposite viewpoints. Although I would like to say I don't wear bras, use shaving razors, or own makeup, I utilize all three. I would like to think being a feminist does not control what you do in every aspect. (This post was inspired by a UK Podcast, The Guilty Feminist. Check them out!)

Now let's get on with it....

My worst flaw is apologizing for nonsensical things, especially, to males.  The other day a random guy knocked into me and I apologized to him.......I to HIM! 😠 His response - "don't worry about it." About 30 minutes later I realized just exactly how messed up that dialog was. 

In that situation, I don't blame the random guy for accepting an apology to his mistake. However, I learned to not apologize unless someone was harmed by me. Otherwise, there is no reason to say "I'm sorry" a million times throughout the day. 

Another thing I've been working on is not apologizing for someone being sad or upset due to another person's actions. How does that make sense?!? 🙀 I understand the purpose, however, taking responsibility for something that has hurt someone else is not productive or appropriate to the definition of "apologize." 

apologize

[uh-pol-uh-jahyz] 

verb (used without object), apologized, apologizing.

1.

to offer an apology or excuse for some fault, insult, failure, or injury:

He apologized for accusing her falsely.

2.

to make a formal defense in speech or writing.

According to the Dictionary.com definition of apologize, it means making an excuse for an action made to someone else or to make a defense. Sooo....that does not justify apologizing for anything that goes a little bit wrong throughout the day. Don't get me wrong, I will still apologize too much throughout the day. My goal is to minimize the amount of times it is said. 

Well, folks, wish me luck! If you find any neat ways to prevent the "s" word to be said too much, feel free to write it in a comment. Farewell for now.

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

What's up, bra?

Let's get straight to the point, what is the deal with the mysterious yet still revealing bra? Not only are they the most accepted product used by women but advertised for the pleasure of men (I don't care how much wind breezes past the model wearing your product, I care if it will keep all my goods in one spot), but it also provides some great material for slut shaming by other women (blog to come).

Well folks, guess what! Bras are not as magical as most of us think. According to a study done over 15 years with 330 women, bras just make your boobies more sad 😢 (IFLScience). Per this study, bras don't allow breasts to create supporting breast tissue, resulting in more sag than what would have taken place without a lifetime of money spent at Victoria Secret. So in you and me terms, without bras, boobs adapt to gravity...SCIENCE!

This doesn't mean I'm going to quit wearing shoulder boulder holders (I'm already balls deep in believing "bras make you look better"), but it is nice to know when you're being taken advantage of by a multi-billion dollar company. This can also be seen with razor blades, shaving cream, and the brand new Bic Pens for Her (blogs to come).

Also, by no means should all women take off their bra, take a quick stroll to the burn pit and throw it in there. In my opinion, if a bra makes you feel comfortable then wear it (I will be). On the other hand, if you are more comfortable without one, then I applaud you for taking that extra step towards saying "F you society and bra industry" (intentionally or not). 👌

I hope all could find some insight from this. Be proud of your body, perky or saggy!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Fart Without Shame

As most of you know, burping and farting is notably "unlady" like. Let this year be the year you proudly fart and burp, even in front of your boyfriend/girlfriend of a couple months, long distance stuck up family, and family friends who won't use the restroom at your house in fear someone will smell a serious bm. Normalize body functions, because it is normal!

Happy Thanksgiving Eve and let the air flow! 

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Overnight Thought

Time for a caffeine induced night rant. If you're from the Ozarks, you have probably noticed the overwhelming amount of women and, less commonly reported, men on the bad end of an abusive relationship (i.e. physical, verbal, sexual, and/or mental). Why does this happen? Why is it so difficult to step in? Why is it when you do try to help the person being abused, they withdrawal from you?

Well folks, from my experience as a volunteer victim advocate (started in February 2015) and short stint working at a rural domestic violence shelter, I've learned the erosion of a person's confidence and sense of self worth does not start when they are first hit or belittled by their significant other. It starts at a young age when they see their mother being beat with no one stepping in and everyone using the excuse "I don't want to get involved." It starts when they are touched inappropriately by an adult they trusted and was too scared to tell anyone because people wouldn't believe them or would "see them differently." It starts with a lack of education, resources, and, most importantly, protection for the victim (however, this has improved some since the 1990s).

The Ozarks culture has trained us to love and protect our family (a relative idea), go to church every week, and to mind our own business. It's time to make victims' safety our business! Be an advocate for your neighbor, sister, cousin, or even town grocer! While breaking down doors and whisking victims away to a shelter seems the easiest route to take (definitely not the most legal), it continues to take away control from them. Start by being a friend and showing your arms are open to them. It's a process to rebuild confidence, especially if they are still in the abusive relationship.

Imagine for years you have been taught by your family and spouse you have to drink water from a plastic cup. Anytime you didn't drink water from a plastic cup, you would get yelled at or hit. Then imagine a friend invites you over and says you can drink from a plastic cup or glass cup, there is no difference. It's your choice! Of course in the beginning you're going to use the plastic cup and be uncomfortable with having the unpunishable option to use a glass cup. With support from your friend and learning to trust them, you will slowly use the glass cup more and more. Eventually, you might have the mindset to use a glass cup anytime you damn well please.

The victim may have no idea abuse is not meant to be involved in a relationship and not being allowed to make any choices strips them of independence, especially if their childhood home life also involved domestic violence. Once a friend says to them "you shouldn't be treated that way" or "what an asshole, you deserve better," it might be taken as an attack on everything they know and understand about relationships. It takes time and support for someone to rebuild their sense of self worth. Help the victim build themselves to be a survivor. Try not to waste energy on bad talking the abuser. This can be counterproductive and, remember, more than likely there were happy moments at one point in the relationship.

According to The Hotline, victims will leave an average of seven times before leaving for good. Everytime a victim leaves a domestic violence situation, the dangers increase. Control means power, and the abuser loses more and more power when the victim becomes a survivor. At minimum, the victim will know this subconsciously.

Although you may be frustrated or mentally exhausted as an advocate, keep in mind you may be the only person giving them support and understanding. You may be the difference between the victim leaving an abusive relationship or becoming one of many to die as a result of domestic violence. But no pressure! Literally, just be a shoulder. Listen. Love. Be there.

Anyways, I got a little intense. Please, check out The Victim Center for free services for any victims of a crime, including survivors of childhood abuse and domestic violence.

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Femenist

And It Begins

Even though I was born and raised in one of the most conservative areas in the country, I've always had a mindset different from the rest. My mom has always raised me to believe women can do anything a man can do and, more than likely, better. Being raised by a single mom and never seeing her depend on anyone, especially a man, solidified the feminist idea to me (even though I didn't know what that was at the time). I found out quickly most other young girls and boys did not get the same lessons from their parents. Since my late teens, I have frequently vented to my mom how frustrated I am with the "a woman should stay in her place" mentality coveted by many in the Ozarks. I wanted to escape to one of the coasts. Well a few weeks ago, she asked me, "Why run away from all of the ignorance when you can SHOW them what women can do?" Right then I had a light bulb moment!

In this blog, I will interview women in the Ozarks who have made a difference for women and the community by collaborating, taking charge, and being an overall badass.