Domestic Violence in the Ozarks Part 2

State Shelters: Arkansas: Taylor House
https://www.domesticshelters.org/ar/batesville/72503/family-violence-prevention-inc-taylor-house-for-men#.WQK3qKVOlnE
Taylor House Article
http://www.arkansasonline.com/news/2016/feb/11/batesville-nonprofit-opens-domestic-violence-shelt/?f=threerivers
Harmony House Website
https://www.myharmonyhouse.org/
RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network) Website
https://www.rainn.org/about-rainn

Hotline numbers:
Taylor House - (870)569-8024
Harmony House - (417)864-7233
RAINN - (800)656-4673

Domestic Violence in the Ozarks Part 1

This episode was a bit heavy, but it is super important!! I talk about some domestic violence stats and bring some real life examples to the power and control wheel. Next week, Part 2 will be on male victims in domestic violence and local, state, and national resources.

We will talk more about these numbers next week, but here are a couple Hotline numbers for you or someone you may know.

National Domestic Violence Hotline (US)
1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network)
1-800-656-4673


References:
https://www.mocadsv.org/Publications/
http://www.domesticpeace.com/pc-wheel.html
http://www.ncadv.org/learn-more/statistics/statebystate click Arkansas

Equality for All, Not Just "Us"

We need each other to progress.

A little tidbit about myself. I am a pre-admission Social Work student at Missouri State University (MSU) in Springfield, MO. I am so far, yet so close to finishing this forever degree. I have an Associates of Degree in Teaching and spent my practicum in the Chadwick (super tiny town southeast of Springfield, MO) school district. My time in Chadwick and Springfield has given me prospective from two completely different views of the Ozarks. While Chadwick has the mentality "everyone knows each other" and might be kin somewhere down the line, Springfield on the other hand let's people be individuals without the stigma of their last name or other family member's actions. While Chadwick will rally of it's citizens to help one of their own, Springfield citizens might be more cautious of helping every individual they see with a need. Both communities have issues, but both have beautiful attributes. Being aware of both the problems and beauty can keep advocates, activists, and policy makers sane.

Picture from transitioningtome.blogspot.com

There are so many social issues being addressed today, such as LGBT rights, domestic violence victim advocacy, homelessness, poverty and many more. All of these issues are extremely important, not only to people being directly affected, but also to those living in this area. Some people see these issues as separate social problems that need to be acknoledged and remedied. I believe the opposite. Social issues tend to not effect one person at a time, instead, it may be a chain reaction. For example, a 17 year old who lives in a rural area comes out to their parents who are not accepting. The teenager may then be kicked out and be forced to be homeless. Due to lack of resources for the homeless in the rural area, the young teen comes to Springfield for shelter (since the teenager is 17, social services may not be called). Or a 23 year old female is in a co-abusive relationship (meaning both partners are abusive to each other). After a heavy night of drinking, the female is beaten to a point of needing to receive emergency services. However, the female does not have a job that provides insurance or makes enough money to go to a clinic. (For this specific case, if she did go to the hospital, a police officer would be called to investigate the industry.) Instead, her injuries are not seen to and neither is her safety.

Above is only two examples of hundreds. As advocates, activists, and policy makers it is our duty to ensure equality of income, assets, rights, and safety for all, not just the group you are apart of.
Thank you to all of the people out there fighting the good fight. Protect self, group, and community!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Overnight Thought

Time for a caffeine induced night rant. If you're from the Ozarks, you have probably noticed the overwhelming amount of women and, less commonly reported, men on the bad end of an abusive relationship (i.e. physical, verbal, sexual, and/or mental). Why does this happen? Why is it so difficult to step in? Why is it when you do try to help the person being abused, they withdrawal from you?

Well folks, from my experience as a volunteer victim advocate (started in February 2015) and short stint working at a rural domestic violence shelter, I've learned the erosion of a person's confidence and sense of self worth does not start when they are first hit or belittled by their significant other. It starts at a young age when they see their mother being beat with no one stepping in and everyone using the excuse "I don't want to get involved." It starts when they are touched inappropriately by an adult they trusted and was too scared to tell anyone because people wouldn't believe them or would "see them differently." It starts with a lack of education, resources, and, most importantly, protection for the victim (however, this has improved some since the 1990s).

The Ozarks culture has trained us to love and protect our family (a relative idea), go to church every week, and to mind our own business. It's time to make victims' safety our business! Be an advocate for your neighbor, sister, cousin, or even town grocer! While breaking down doors and whisking victims away to a shelter seems the easiest route to take (definitely not the most legal), it continues to take away control from them. Start by being a friend and showing your arms are open to them. It's a process to rebuild confidence, especially if they are still in the abusive relationship.

Imagine for years you have been taught by your family and spouse you have to drink water from a plastic cup. Anytime you didn't drink water from a plastic cup, you would get yelled at or hit. Then imagine a friend invites you over and says you can drink from a plastic cup or glass cup, there is no difference. It's your choice! Of course in the beginning you're going to use the plastic cup and be uncomfortable with having the unpunishable option to use a glass cup. With support from your friend and learning to trust them, you will slowly use the glass cup more and more. Eventually, you might have the mindset to use a glass cup anytime you damn well please.

The victim may have no idea abuse is not meant to be involved in a relationship and not being allowed to make any choices strips them of independence, especially if their childhood home life also involved domestic violence. Once a friend says to them "you shouldn't be treated that way" or "what an asshole, you deserve better," it might be taken as an attack on everything they know and understand about relationships. It takes time and support for someone to rebuild their sense of self worth. Help the victim build themselves to be a survivor. Try not to waste energy on bad talking the abuser. This can be counterproductive and, remember, more than likely there were happy moments at one point in the relationship.

According to The Hotline, victims will leave an average of seven times before leaving for good. Everytime a victim leaves a domestic violence situation, the dangers increase. Control means power, and the abuser loses more and more power when the victim becomes a survivor. At minimum, the victim will know this subconsciously.

Although you may be frustrated or mentally exhausted as an advocate, keep in mind you may be the only person giving them support and understanding. You may be the difference between the victim leaving an abusive relationship or becoming one of many to die as a result of domestic violence. But no pressure! Literally, just be a shoulder. Listen. Love. Be there.

Anyways, I got a little intense. Please, check out The Victim Center for free services for any victims of a crime, including survivors of childhood abuse and domestic violence.

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Femenist