LGBTQIA in Media

Go With The Chaos

Me as a super cute...cat?

Everyone has a crazy amount of responsibilities (work, bills, relationships, family, and all the extras), close environment (people with same views or those who give mean glares), and the political environment around us (aka the longest Twilight Zone episode). In this episode, we* talk about ways to cope with the chaos as feminists in conservative areas or anywhere.

*We meaning my kitty (Jules), puppy (Dottie), wine, and I.

Adventure Double Standard

In this week's episode, I talk about the fear of being attacked while walking alone, especially on trails. It also includes additional puppy notices and wine slurring!

Articles:

Are Runners Likely to be Targets of Violent Crime from Science Based Running

Facts and Statistics from National Sex Offender Public Website (NSOPW)

This is How Women Feel About Walking Alone at Night in Their Own Neighborhoods from Washington Post

Domestic Violence in the Ozarks Part 1

This episode was a bit heavy, but it is super important!! I talk about some domestic violence stats and bring some real life examples to the power and control wheel. Next week, Part 2 will be on male victims in domestic violence and local, state, and national resources.

We will talk more about these numbers next week, but here are a couple Hotline numbers for you or someone you may know.

National Domestic Violence Hotline (US)
1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network)
1-800-656-4673


References:
https://www.mocadsv.org/Publications/
http://www.domesticpeace.com/pc-wheel.html
http://www.ncadv.org/learn-more/statistics/statebystate click Arkansas

Fired Up!

Intelligent presenters. Policy engagement. Progressive discussion. That was the beginning of my night. It ended with missiles in Syria. I'm not a religious person, but this is one HECK of a sign to get involved...ASAP! Whether you're Democrat, Republican or anything in between, become aware! Know who your State Representative or Senator, the bills coming up (that are passionate to you), and make sure your voice is heard! 

Tonight I participated in a local initiative, Gov't 101, to become aware of who you can call and what bills will have effects on you. Right now, what ever craziness results from the current administration's choice (and it was a choice) will effect us all. 

Gov't 101 panel

Now time for a rant, why in the world was there an attack on another country?!?!?!? I understand, the gas attacks were heart breaking. Why not provide aid? Why not provide assistance to the child refugees? If I read one more time "they crossed a line" I'm going to puke. While millions of older people will no longer get their funded meals, we want to up our military (what a crazy coincidence, right?). Don't forget about the millions of people who will be losing their insurance, especially those who are diagnosed with substance use disorder and all mental illnesses (the new plans won't consider either within the same realm as medical illnesses). Suffering from panic attacks, need help with recovery from an addiction, or experiencing obsessive thoughts...please, go seek help now! Funding will be cut, it may not be this year, but the administration and the Republican led Congress have vowed to repeal and (after the election) wants to repeal it "with something bigger and better" (using Trump's vocabulary). 

I digress! So while our citizens our getting screwed over by this new beautiful budget the administration is playing hypocrite. In September 7th, 2013, Trump uses his now infamous twitter to call out Obama to not get involved in Syria, which he did not. Good thing government workers have some great insurance, because Trump may have some memory loss. Oh and another beautiful tweet from Trump back in the day. On September 5th, 2013, he appears to advocate not getting involved with Syria and "fix U.S.A." Could that statement be anymore hypocritical?!?! Before anyone says this is a heartless view, understand there could of been further initiatives to help children refugees, including aid and visas. How is firing missiles going to help the children still suffering in Syria? Please, explain the reasoning to me.

I'm sure there will be many more rants to come. To end on a positive note, even though I extremely disagree with the current administration and the choices being made, the fact I am able to write this blog shows our country has more freedom than most. Let's hope I'll be able to write this weekend with a kick off of WW3.

Have a great night!

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

Let's Get This Party Started and Have a Thoughtful Conversation

So it's definitely been a minute since I have posted anything. Good thing is I have more motivation to build on intersectional feminism and, of course, piss off trolls!


Recently I went to a student discussion of Intersectional Feminism at the university I attend, which was amazing! The best part was, instead of being surrounded by white middle class women, there was a great mix of people, also know as an intersectional group. I heard some women (and men!) talking about oppression I will never experience. It was eye opening. Many of the women at our table told experiences of being stereotyped in department stores. Because they were not white, they could not walk in the store without eyes on them at all times. WTF!?

The best part of the discussion was talking about the different types of oppression and how they overlap. I am a woman; experienced sexism. I was lower class as a child; some opportunities were missed, but learned independence and hard work. I was not followed in a department store. No one has ever flinched from seeing me (someone said this happens to them, WTF!?). I ask questions when I please in class and my voice is heard.

In one of my favorite podcasts, The Guilty Feminist, Deborah Frances-White explains white men are, for the most part, not shy to raise their hand to give their opinion or ask a question. In a group made up of women, white women tend to be the first person to raise their hand. With this in mind, I did not raise my hand once during the macro discussion. What I learned was even though my voice was not heard in the large room discussion, no one exploded or was tragically disadvantaged from not getting my point of view! I understood the theology of traditional feminism, the oppression of women. I am ignorant in understanding the oppression experienced by people of color (Black, Latino, Hispanic, Asian, Middle Eastern, etc.) and LGBT.

I am so excited to see what the 3rd wave of feminism brings to our society. Every voice deserves to be heard. If you keep hearing your voice or those who 100% agree with you, it's time to sit down and listen or learn to facilitate conversations with those ignored.

This was a short one, but bet your bottom dollar there will be more next weekend about intersectional feminism! Have a great week and remember it's okay to shut up every now and then!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Create Support & Spread Awareness

If you could pick a city to match your mentality on life, where would you be? Tokyo, super busy with the lights always on? Any rural town, wide open and more relaxed? Anchorage, beautiful, but possibly extremely depressive during the time without sun? Once you have chosen a location, analyze it for a moment. Now, are you content with that location? If not, what needs to be done to change that?

Above is a thought experiment to help kick off something that intimately affects approximately 6 people for every event. Those 6 people may be parents, siblings, other family members, and friends. This pandemic is suicide among our loved ones. In hindsight, professionals and loved ones will remember moments that could be translated into signs of major depression and the rituals that tend to be done before a person attempts suicide. These signs could be as blatant as telling the people around them about their plans or as silent as giving important items to loved ones as if enacting their will.

Statistics on Suicide

Found at American Foundation of Suicide Prevention

If you're currently having suicidal thoughts, you’re not alone. According to the CDC, 3.9% of people in the United States have had thoughts of attempting suicide and 1.1% has made plans. Approximately 40% of suicides are committed by people between the ages 45-65 and 85-plus. While most suicides are committed more often by older to middle aged white men, suicidal ideations and plans are more often set by females than males in the adolescent age range(1). Lastly, untreated and undiagnosed depression is the leading cause of suicide. While the last statement may seem obvious, it can be the easiest to miss. Many people will see the signs of depression and think, "they're just having a rough time" or "there are people in way worse circumstances." Those assumptions of another person's feelings will only isolate them more. With the increase of awareness, the signs will hopefully be seen before an attempt is made and counseling will be sought out.

Loved One Showing Signs?

Through my time and training spent as a volunteer advocate, I have learned some of the myths and misconceptions when speaking to someone who is stating they are suicidal. A major misconception is asking a person if they have thought of the details. If someone discloses to you they have been thinking about killing themselves, find out exactly what they mean. Have they thought about when? How? Where? Contrary to prior beliefs, asking a person about what they have planned, will not instigate the attempt. If anything, this will help the person realize the gravity of what they are saying. If the details are not planned, provide immediate, consistent support and consider resources to help with depression. If they know the details, it’s time to get immediate help from a professional. 

A feeling of hopelessness tends to not be permanent. With support and proper counseling, hope can be restored. In fact, I went to a Specialized Medical Training class and one of the topics discussed was about depression and suicidal ideations. During the lecture, the Golden Gate bridge was brought up.

Kevin Hines, in the video below, survived what most have not. Hines was quoted saying in a video by BuzzFeed,

"The millisecond my hands left the rail, it was an instant regret."

Since its opening, there have been 2,000 people attempt suicide by jumping from the bridge, only 1% have survived. 

Words from HF

I hope if you're reading this, you have found some helpful information and resources. If you're experiencing depression, please, know you are loved. No matter what unfortunate events have happened or words that have been said, you are an important part of someones life, especially your own. 

If you're giving support to someone who is surviving depression, thank you. You are a hero in your story and should be recognized. Keep up the work and feel free to also call the hotlines and crisis lines. The advocates and counselors may help you cope with the situation and provide further information about support.

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

Resources

If you are in need of a hotline for more information on prevention, visit SuicidePreventionLifeLine.org or call 1-800-273-8255 (for the United States). For the more national hotlines visit this link. Find more crisis lines at CrisisTextLine.org.

References

1 Mueller, A. S., James, W., Abrutyn, S., & Levin, M. L. (2015). RESEARCH AND PRACTICE. Suicide Ideation and Bullying Among US Adolescents: Examining the Intersections of Sexual Orientation, Gender, and Race/Ethnicity. American Journal Of Public Health, 105(5), 980-985. doi:10.2105/AJPH.2014.302391

Say No to Slut Shaming

When you first think of Melania Trump, what comes to your mind? If it helps, write them down on a piece of paper. Now, look at what you wrote down and put a tally by the things that you would have not known if she wasn’t married to Donald Trump, President-elect. I’ll be honest, if it wasn’t for the election, I wouldn’t even know her name. I’m not interested in his business antics or reality show.

Now I ask, why are so many people directing their hate and shaming on her? She won’t even be staying in the White House (Trump’s daughter will be his first lady…. yes, America becoming more and more creepy). The slut shaming against Melania has been so blatant and crude, even some of the most liberal people I know are becoming what we fight to end. 

Slut shaming Melania because of a man is playing right into the dirty, greedy patriarchal hands that keep women “in their place.” Instead of shaming another woman to “get at” her husband, we need to come together to ensure knowledge and awareness is spread among our fellow women about policies that will be passed by the dangerous men in charge.

The shaming includes making front of her accent or the fact she is not American born. I understand the hypocrisy by President-Elect Trump, but in the end, she is a legal citizen of the United States. Liberals making rally cries against Melania’s being an immigrant reinforces the conservative notion “that immigrants need to go back from where they’re from.” We have lost the few allies in the executive branch and wasting time/energy by taking cheap shots will not further our goals for equality.

Side tangent: Speaking of equality, I recently got in a Facebook discussion (somewhat respectful) about whether LGBT rights are in danger with the new administration. Pence’s actions while Governor of Indiana, clearly show his dislike of anyone different than him….*cough* *cough* *douche bag*.

I got a little side tracked. Our country is in for rough four years and we cannot break our resilience or conviction. Let’s concentrate on protecting and supporting each other.

Have a wonderful week!

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

Body Hair, OH MY!

Legs. Armpit. Arms. Ass crack. Chin. Cooch. Balls. What do these body areas have in common? Scary, body hair (ahhhhhhhhhhh!!).

Ever since starting my feminist journey, I have always wondered why people are so weirded out by hair, one of the most natural things on our body.

I asked a couple friends about their views of body hair. Winter expressed she hates body hair, which of course I already knew. She also added that is for her body, “I don’t care one way or the other what a guy or girl does for hair removal unless we will be getting naked together.” Another friend of mine, Faith, explained she pays a “shit ton” of money on shaving products. A reason to the money spent could be seen in her response to a question how her day is effected by not shaving, she responded with, “I’m usually very aware if I have not shaved and I think about it throughout the day.”

Ancient pubic volsellas

For thousands of years, hair has gone through stages of repulsion for different body regions. According to MIC, caveman removed hair from their face for safety with sharpened rocks while Egyptians removed all of their hair, except their eyebrows, for cleanliness. Ancient Romans used shaving as a status symbol, especially for women. This is when shaving standards for women began. The desperation to show one’s status was so intense that when a girl entered puberty, her pubic hair was removed with “volsellas” (aka ancient pubic tweezers, OUCH!).

The pressure on women shaving their legs and pubic region was relieved when Queen Elizabeth I came into power. However, women manicuring their eyebrows became very important at this time, along with men and their facial hair.

The lack of pressure was maintained in the 18^th and 19^th centuries. For those women who chose to shave (primarily dancers/entertainers) used the new safer razors marketed for men. It wasn’t until the 1900s when a razor blade for women was promoted.

1915 ad warning
women of armpit hair

Conveniently, in 1915, advertising warning the dangers of underarm hair began (per womenyoushouldknow.net). This advertising not only pushed to decrease self-confidence, but also entice fear of being alone and without a husband. The wrath of leg shaving didn’t return until the 1940s when WWII starved America of nylon (used for stockings/pantyhose). Imagine, not being able to hide leg hair, the depravity! The full bush went out of style in the 1980s. In 1987, waxing became a hit! This was intensified by mass media and commercialization. The purpose of shaving has transitioned throughout history, from safety to cleanliness to a status symbol to trying to look like the model on TV.

My legs after a month of not shaving
(and a life time of no sun...)

A new movement hitting the body hair scene is embracing what “mother nature” has given us. I attempted this idea by not shaving my legs for a month and it was extreme anticlimactic. When I made the choice to not shave, I thought I would either feel super liberated or uncomfortable. Turns out, I felt the exact same. I pay who know how much money a year on shaving products just to feel the exact same without shaving. That’s ridiculous! To be honest, my fiancé wasn’t the most excited, but our intimacy did not change and we even had a quick joke when he would stroke from my ankle to my knee (I could see the cringe in his eyes).

Sadly, I do have to admit, my relief was overwhelming when I shaved my legs. I didn’t have the chance to wear a cute skirt or shorts due to the weather, however, I look forward to trying this experiment again when it’s warmer. I especially can’t wait for the glares and judgement by those who have been taught that women will only walk out of the house with no obscene body hair.

Another testimony from a women who abandoned the hair stigma discusses her transition from waxing to asking why am I even doing this? Check out her story at this link.

I haven't decided one way or another about indefinitely keeping my legs hairy. (What can I say, society has its rigid claws in me.) Hopefully this brought some cringes, laughs, and knowledge. Have a wonderful and safe New Year!

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

Being a Feminist AND Engaged

When I first became engaged to my amazing man hunk, I had some major conflicts to settle within myself. First, would I change my name? Second, who am I going to piss off when I make my decision?

I, personally, enjoy the idea of changing my name. It won't be a new me, I'm already way too awesome to start that over. However, it will kick start a new chapter in my life. As expected, my mother, and the general feminist ideology, do not find the idea so pleasant. For the last six months, this battle has been rolling around my head.

In an article on Bustle by Bibi Deitz, the idea of changing your name can be seen as a feminist act. Changing my name is a choice that can only be decided by me. Who is going to the DMV? I am. Who is going to the Social Security office? I am. Who is changing their information with their employer? I am. The choice must be made before the actions. Although it may not align with most feminists' ideology concerning marriage, it is a personal choice that should be respected. Shaming each other won't do any good. If it is seen as wrong by someone, how does shaming help? Two wrongs do not make a right. ("Wrong" is relative in this statement.) 

One of my favorite values is respecting choices of others. It is no ones position to make up someones mind, and vice versa. This, however, creates a lot of conflict between the feminist I have grown into and the culture around me. 

The Ozarks is made up of mostly Scotch-Irish and German (on the northern parts). The idea of a woman being submissive, especially in public, has been bred in our culture for generations. (Even though I have plenty of stories from older generations about women being the dominate partner behind closed doors, concerning finances and discipline.) The perception of an obedient and quiet woman has been drooled over by men in every culture, ours just had isolation to allow that mentality to stay for as long as it has. (Native Americans were even wary of some parts of the Ozarks due to terrain.)

Although, in my mind, I know the practice is patriarchal and only enables the system to stay in place, I have been raised with the tradition a woman takes her forever love's name when she takes his hand. As much as I want to say "I would never do that" or "My name doesn't need to change to be in harmony with someone," my feelings don't align with those statements. I enjoy the idea of having my husband's last name for unity with future offspring, which is a super controversial statement.

Jill Filipovic wrote an article explaining if changing your surname was a valid reason for unity "make it the wife's." Many women are beginning to not change their surname. According to the New York Times in 2015, approximately 20 percent of women married around the time kept their surnames, higher than the 14 percent from the 1980s. From my personal experience, this revolution has not spread in the Ozarks, especially more rural areas. The majority of women I know that have recently gotten married has changed their surname to the husband's. 

Another idea is to reject using the phrase "maiden name," whether you change your name or not. Brita Long explain in her article "I Didn't Keep My Maiden Name" that although she did not change her name she refuses to refer to her last name as a "maiden name." She goes into detail about the history of the phrase and that even keeping your last name can still be degrading by referring to your last name being "unmarried" and "virgin."

As you have read, this is not the easiest decision to make. I'm sure people from with any of the opinions listed will have a few things to say to me along with a wagging finger. All I have to say is, I will respect your choices, so please respect mine.

As for my final verdict on what my surname will be...I guess we'll all find out in six months.

Have a wonderful week! 

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

Oh Yeah, I Said 'Feminist'

It is amazing how offended people get when someone says "feminist." I could literally hear people's butt holes pucker and see their eyes go wide from fear of the two hour speech on 21st century feminism ideology. When some hear the "f" word, the image of strong willed woman who have never used a razor and doesn't wear a bra pop in their head. This woman is yelling and slashing down all of the men in sight. As much as I admire this made up woman, this is normally not the case.

People, especially men, have been trained to fear the growth of power among women in society. If you ask me, which you are if you're reading this, that is freaking ridiculous! Women getting equal rights implies things will then be, well, equal. We are not planning on putting men in chains or having public castrations. My only advice is they need to calm the fuck down!

When I first told my fiance of my feminist ways, he was a wee bit nervous. Before he asked about the length of my armpit hair, I asked him if he believed in equal rights and pay for women. He said, "Yes, of course." With a big grin on my face and hands on my hips, I informed him, he in fact was also a feminist (he still won't admit it....for now).

Within the past year, I have embraced my feminist-ness, especially during the election. Women have fought and died for us to vote, why waste that? Keep their voices alive. Increasing rights and awareness is started with votes. Policy change is not simple and needs people to come out and vote!

Women in the U.S. have worked hard to get where we are. According to Wikipedia (don't forget to donate!), there have been three waves of feminism - suffrage, cultural, and global feminism. Most recently, we have entered a fourth wave concerning reproductive rights, male feminism, and support for transgender peoples. These are some scary times, politically speaking. Stay aware and be an informed citizen. That can be your biggest weapon against injustice!

Last thought, don't be ashamed of being a feminist. Shout it from the top of a roof top if you want to! Instead of being scared of what others will think, show them there should be no fear of equality.

Have a great week, ya'll!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Be 100% You (Video)

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

"You are you! That is truer than true! No one alive can be you-er than you!" -Dr. Seuss

"Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else." - Judy Garland

You are beautiful and deserve respect! No one has the right to tear you down. You have the right to walk away from that person without a blink.

I hope this message can find some people who are struggling with their confidence or is an environment filled with disrespect and degradation.

Keep your head up high and show the world just how bad ass you truly are!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Hear Bon Roar

Let's see if I can get this straight. The stereotypical Ozarks woman will be quiet and minor mannered. Before staying out late or going out with friends she will ask permission from her male spouse. She will blush and shy away from "locker room talk." She knows her place, which is barefoot, pregnant, and permanently planted in the kitchen. If you have any other stereotypes to share feel free to comment or email.

Now that we got that out of the way, it's time to introduce you to a true bad ass woman, born and raised in the Ozarks. Bon Tindle has fought for the houseless*, refugees, and people living below the poverty line. During the interview with Bon, she explained she was never like the girl who was praised for being "so easy to get along with," adding "that ain't me." Instead, she has taken an assertive and take'm by the balls approach, which has assisted her in pushing through the challenges she has had for being a woman in a conservative area.

Having faced many obstacles within her lifetime, Bon has not let it tear her down or dampen her fire. For example, Bon mentioned a time she was working as middle management at a small sales business in Springfield. After confronting upper management about an employee in a subordinate position making $8,000 more than her, the only excuse was "he has kids."

Bon did not take this reason lightly. "Just because I keep my uterus in check doesn't mean I deserve less and I've done this and this and this," was Bon's response. "I ended up leaving the company because they wouldn't increase my wages at all and it was simply because I was a woman. Every other man at that level made more than me by a significant amount."

Bon has been active in local protests and movements by standing with the protesters, writing articles about the events/issues, and being constantly aware of the rights of the people. During the Slut Walk in 2015, the Springfield city council passed a law for more restrictions on indecent exposure. Bon stayed aware of this and was not shy to voice her concerns about the coincidence of a law being passed effecting the dress of women and the soon approaching peaceful assembly, the Slut Walk. According to the Springfield News-Leader,  councilmen Burnett was quoted saying he was opposed to the protest, even stating it was "appalling" to him. Later, Bon and Burnett met, coming to some agreement on the actions and beliefs of both parties. After this point, Burnett became seemingly more aware of the issues of the community on a citizen level.

Bon has also worked closely with the homeless population in Springfield, including taking supplies to homeless camps, writing articles about the injustices happening, and attending city council meetings to confront the issue head on.She has been known to gather food, clothing, hygiene products, and other essentials, then taking them herself to homeless camps. All after meeting the leader of the camp to ensure all needs have been met. Her passion for the homeless began when she was attacked and soon after became homeless.

"Everyone just thought I couldn't keep my shit together, in reality, I was completely destroyed inside because no one knew what had happened they just thought I was a screwed up kid. First of all, just having been through the experience, but then also seeing how the system is slanted against people."

Acting as Secretary for Springfield Welcome Home, Bon, along with many other volunteers, are there to help refugees coming into Southwest Missouri. The organization provides living essentials and the support of a community. The Springfield group started in December 2015 in response to the Syrian refugee crisis.

Bon's challenges and accomplishments have led to her badassness. I'm ending this with a little piece of advice from Bon, "Don't be afraid to say 'fuck you' and don't be afraid to walk away. You do not need everyone and not everyone needs you. I think we are so trained to be people pleasers that if someone doesn't like us [then] we failed, don't be afraid to fail in that kind of way."

Continue to rock on and have a wonderful day, my lovely readers!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

(P.S. Look up Bon Tindle on Facebook and Twitter to see what else she does in the community! Also, she has frequent community chats at Mudhouse, in Springfield downtown.)

*I was corrected by a man in mid interview with Bon at Mudhouse, as someone who is "houseless" he prefered the term. He is the expert in his life. Possible post about houselessness to come.

Officially Hello! (Video)

Yep, that's me. I'm 23 years old, a student, engaged (happily), full-time employee, and no longer a "closet feminist." Please, let me know if you have any neat ideas about a post, credit will be given if applicable. Let's get this started!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

(P.S. I got a little rambly, and if it bugs you......sorry (refer to blog about saying sorry too much).)

Glory of a "Me Date"

We all now the cliche "you can't truly love someone, until you love yourself." I'm here to agree with that over used saying. I am a young female student who also happens to be engaged. While I enjoy dates with my man hunk, I look forward to what I like to call my "me dates." In fact, I had one today consisting of having some coffee on Springfield's downtown followed taking my lunch to go to the hookah lounge down the street. The only thing to take up my attention was people watching, writing to my lovely readers, and getting engulfed in a zombie trilogy. The tunes playing through my headphones brought to life The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, Led Zeppelin, Queen, and all the greats.


A year ago, going to the movie theaters or eating in a restaurant (not fast-food) by myself would never happen. My self-doubt would flare up; "What if someone hits on me?", "What if I get kidnapped?!", and the all too familiar "What if people think I'm sad?".

Well, here are my responses to those pesky insecurities;

"What if someone hits on me?"
Uhhh, no thank you. I'm not interested, have a great day. (I refuse to use my relationship status as a reason or excuse to turn someone down. I simply don't want to be apart of that conversation, so no.)

"What if I get kidnapped?!"
Movies and documentaries have trained me well (along with my mother). I have some handy pepper spray. I do not need other people with me constantly to provide safety. I am not a child or incapable of taking care of myself, instead I am a grown ass woman who is aware of safety precautions (blog to come). Keep in my mind, though, my "me dates" do not include walking in dark alleys or shady clubs.

"What if people think I'm sad?"
Now this is ridiculous. When looking back on every time I've gone to the movies or out to eat and saw someone by themselves, I never thought "Wow, they need a hug." I would just smile their direction and continue on with my business. Most of the time, they would smile back. "Me dates" tend to reset my mood for the rest of the week, making it better for me and everyone around me.

Don't be afraid to date yourself! Whether you're single, in a relationship, or have been married for a decade, you are the main character in your story. Remember you are important! Hopefully, a nice "me date" will give you a chance to see just how amazing you are.

Have a great day, lovely readers!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Guilty Feminist Moment #1

Everyone has morals and values that people may not be able to follow 100% of the time. I am not immune to this fact, especially, when living in an area that tends to have opposite viewpoints. Although I would like to say I don't wear bras, use shaving razors, or own makeup, I utilize all three. I would like to think being a feminist does not control what you do in every aspect. (This post was inspired by a UK Podcast, The Guilty Feminist. Check them out!)

Now let's get on with it....

My worst flaw is apologizing for nonsensical things, especially, to males.  The other day a random guy knocked into me and I apologized to him.......I to HIM! 😠 His response - "don't worry about it." About 30 minutes later I realized just exactly how messed up that dialog was. 

In that situation, I don't blame the random guy for accepting an apology to his mistake. However, I learned to not apologize unless someone was harmed by me. Otherwise, there is no reason to say "I'm sorry" a million times throughout the day. 

Another thing I've been working on is not apologizing for someone being sad or upset due to another person's actions. How does that make sense?!? 🙀 I understand the purpose, however, taking responsibility for something that has hurt someone else is not productive or appropriate to the definition of "apologize." 

apologize

[uh-pol-uh-jahyz] 

verb (used without object), apologized, apologizing.

1.

to offer an apology or excuse for some fault, insult, failure, or injury:

He apologized for accusing her falsely.

2.

to make a formal defense in speech or writing.

According to the Dictionary.com definition of apologize, it means making an excuse for an action made to someone else or to make a defense. Sooo....that does not justify apologizing for anything that goes a little bit wrong throughout the day. Don't get me wrong, I will still apologize too much throughout the day. My goal is to minimize the amount of times it is said. 

Well, folks, wish me luck! If you find any neat ways to prevent the "s" word to be said too much, feel free to write it in a comment. Farewell for now.

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

And It Begins

Even though I was born and raised in one of the most conservative areas in the country, I've always had a mindset different from the rest. My mom has always raised me to believe women can do anything a man can do and, more than likely, better. Being raised by a single mom and never seeing her depend on anyone, especially a man, solidified the feminist idea to me (even though I didn't know what that was at the time). I found out quickly most other young girls and boys did not get the same lessons from their parents. Since my late teens, I have frequently vented to my mom how frustrated I am with the "a woman should stay in her place" mentality coveted by many in the Ozarks. I wanted to escape to one of the coasts. Well a few weeks ago, she asked me, "Why run away from all of the ignorance when you can SHOW them what women can do?" Right then I had a light bulb moment!

In this blog, I will interview women in the Ozarks who have made a difference for women and the community by collaborating, taking charge, and being an overall badass.