LGBTQIA in Media

Go With The Chaos

Me as a super cute...cat?

Everyone has a crazy amount of responsibilities (work, bills, relationships, family, and all the extras), close environment (people with same views or those who give mean glares), and the political environment around us (aka the longest Twilight Zone episode). In this episode, we* talk about ways to cope with the chaos as feminists in conservative areas or anywhere.

*We meaning my kitty (Jules), puppy (Dottie), wine, and I.

Where's the Respect?

This ranty episode discusses topics ranging from wedding frustrations to social policy. Get ready to follow several tangents to get to the end.

Also, the name hasn't changed from WIC, that is the new name. The website was a bit confusing about the name change, so let me know if you could decode it.

Bonus Episode!

I talk about my secret agendas for 2017

1) Eliminate the stigma of being a feminist
2) Become more aware of the Ozarks (geography and ideologies)
3) Bring back the fanny pack!

Adventure Double Standard

In this week's episode, I talk about the fear of being attacked while walking alone, especially on trails. It also includes additional puppy notices and wine slurring!

Articles:

Are Runners Likely to be Targets of Violent Crime from Science Based Running

Facts and Statistics from National Sex Offender Public Website (NSOPW)

This is How Women Feel About Walking Alone at Night in Their Own Neighborhoods from Washington Post

Has Your Voice Been Heard?

I give some info and a lot of rant about Planned Parenthood funding cuts and the possible repeal of ACA (aka Obamacare).

Find your U.S. Representive by zipcode with this link.
Find your U.S. Senator by state with this link.

Handmaid's Tale became
reality in Missouri capitol
May 3rd, 2017

Links:
https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/general-health-care
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/women-dressed-up-as-handmaids-to-defend-reproductive-rights-in-missouri_us_590a2417e4b02655f843a8fa

Domestic Violence in the Ozarks Part 2

State Shelters: Arkansas: Taylor House
https://www.domesticshelters.org/ar/batesville/72503/family-violence-prevention-inc-taylor-house-for-men#.WQK3qKVOlnE
Taylor House Article
http://www.arkansasonline.com/news/2016/feb/11/batesville-nonprofit-opens-domestic-violence-shelt/?f=threerivers
Harmony House Website
https://www.myharmonyhouse.org/
RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network) Website
https://www.rainn.org/about-rainn

Hotline numbers:
Taylor House - (870)569-8024
Harmony House - (417)864-7233
RAINN - (800)656-4673

Domestic Violence in the Ozarks Part 1

This episode was a bit heavy, but it is super important!! I talk about some domestic violence stats and bring some real life examples to the power and control wheel. Next week, Part 2 will be on male victims in domestic violence and local, state, and national resources.

We will talk more about these numbers next week, but here are a couple Hotline numbers for you or someone you may know.

National Domestic Violence Hotline (US)
1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)

RAINN (Rape, Abuse, & Incest National Network)
1-800-656-4673


References:
https://www.mocadsv.org/Publications/
http://www.domesticpeace.com/pc-wheel.html
http://www.ncadv.org/learn-more/statistics/statebystate click Arkansas

Fired Up!

Intelligent presenters. Policy engagement. Progressive discussion. That was the beginning of my night. It ended with missiles in Syria. I'm not a religious person, but this is one HECK of a sign to get involved...ASAP! Whether you're Democrat, Republican or anything in between, become aware! Know who your State Representative or Senator, the bills coming up (that are passionate to you), and make sure your voice is heard! 

Tonight I participated in a local initiative, Gov't 101, to become aware of who you can call and what bills will have effects on you. Right now, what ever craziness results from the current administration's choice (and it was a choice) will effect us all. 

Gov't 101 panel

Now time for a rant, why in the world was there an attack on another country?!?!?!? I understand, the gas attacks were heart breaking. Why not provide aid? Why not provide assistance to the child refugees? If I read one more time "they crossed a line" I'm going to puke. While millions of older people will no longer get their funded meals, we want to up our military (what a crazy coincidence, right?). Don't forget about the millions of people who will be losing their insurance, especially those who are diagnosed with substance use disorder and all mental illnesses (the new plans won't consider either within the same realm as medical illnesses). Suffering from panic attacks, need help with recovery from an addiction, or experiencing obsessive thoughts...please, go seek help now! Funding will be cut, it may not be this year, but the administration and the Republican led Congress have vowed to repeal and (after the election) wants to repeal it "with something bigger and better" (using Trump's vocabulary). 

I digress! So while our citizens our getting screwed over by this new beautiful budget the administration is playing hypocrite. In September 7th, 2013, Trump uses his now infamous twitter to call out Obama to not get involved in Syria, which he did not. Good thing government workers have some great insurance, because Trump may have some memory loss. Oh and another beautiful tweet from Trump back in the day. On September 5th, 2013, he appears to advocate not getting involved with Syria and "fix U.S.A." Could that statement be anymore hypocritical?!?! Before anyone says this is a heartless view, understand there could of been further initiatives to help children refugees, including aid and visas. How is firing missiles going to help the children still suffering in Syria? Please, explain the reasoning to me.

I'm sure there will be many more rants to come. To end on a positive note, even though I extremely disagree with the current administration and the choices being made, the fact I am able to write this blog shows our country has more freedom than most. Let's hope I'll be able to write this weekend with a kick off of WW3.

Have a great night!

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

Let's Get This Party Started and Have a Thoughtful Conversation

So it's definitely been a minute since I have posted anything. Good thing is I have more motivation to build on intersectional feminism and, of course, piss off trolls!


Recently I went to a student discussion of Intersectional Feminism at the university I attend, which was amazing! The best part was, instead of being surrounded by white middle class women, there was a great mix of people, also know as an intersectional group. I heard some women (and men!) talking about oppression I will never experience. It was eye opening. Many of the women at our table told experiences of being stereotyped in department stores. Because they were not white, they could not walk in the store without eyes on them at all times. WTF!?

The best part of the discussion was talking about the different types of oppression and how they overlap. I am a woman; experienced sexism. I was lower class as a child; some opportunities were missed, but learned independence and hard work. I was not followed in a department store. No one has ever flinched from seeing me (someone said this happens to them, WTF!?). I ask questions when I please in class and my voice is heard.

In one of my favorite podcasts, The Guilty Feminist, Deborah Frances-White explains white men are, for the most part, not shy to raise their hand to give their opinion or ask a question. In a group made up of women, white women tend to be the first person to raise their hand. With this in mind, I did not raise my hand once during the macro discussion. What I learned was even though my voice was not heard in the large room discussion, no one exploded or was tragically disadvantaged from not getting my point of view! I understood the theology of traditional feminism, the oppression of women. I am ignorant in understanding the oppression experienced by people of color (Black, Latino, Hispanic, Asian, Middle Eastern, etc.) and LGBT.

I am so excited to see what the 3rd wave of feminism brings to our society. Every voice deserves to be heard. If you keep hearing your voice or those who 100% agree with you, it's time to sit down and listen or learn to facilitate conversations with those ignored.

This was a short one, but bet your bottom dollar there will be more next weekend about intersectional feminism! Have a great week and remember it's okay to shut up every now and then!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Guilty Feminist Moment #2

Vicariously Shaming

TV has ruined me! My vicarious living refuses to coincide with my feminist views. For instance, I have been watching a Netflix show, Peaky Blinders. Fabulous acting and scene set up, the show is based in England, 1919. we are only a half of season in. In this show there is an operative, Grace, working for the national coppers. She has been given a mission to seduce the head of the gang, Tommy, to get intell about the illegal activity. (Spoiler alert: she follows through with the mission then resigns, before turning down a proposal from her copper boss [ewwwy]. She has chosen to stay as bar-maid for Tommy's family bar and, I'm assuming, pursue the relationship with the gang leader.)

Well, I am officially at the point of wanting Grace to give up her values and fall in love with Tommy. I am even starting to not like her character for betraying Tommy...how messed up is that?! Instead of saying, "what a bad ass woman!" or "thanks to her, a major gang could be stopped," I am judging her. In my mind, she is not her character, but instead just a love interest.

I know this may sound ridiculous, but it is only one example of many times I have easily judged someone on the magic box. This makes it easier and easier to judge women around me.

Values Without Judgement

Since the election, I have had many discussions concerning abortion, something most people did not discuss before. I myself am pro-choice. As the phrase suggests, I will support your opinion of what abortion may be and what you chose with your reproductive organs. However, shaming or judging women with the opposite view or of those who have had an abortion will not be tolerated.

However, I can see why they may be so distraught about abortion. Imagine being told since you were a small child that abortion was murder of a beautiful, innocent baby. If I was conditioned that way, of course I would feel righteous in the fight against "baby murdering."

In one of my classes, a professor has chosen to use the classroom as a political platform. At one point asking I and another student if we were "right, center, or left." Both of us answered left. Next the professor vocally assumed in front of the class we were both pro-choice (I am unsure of the other students position). This was one of many times, the professor explained her political view, voicing her "disappointment" in the Black Lives Matter movement and the Women's March following the inauguration. Keep in mind, this class I am speaking about is an introduction course for Social Work (one of the core values is about diversity and inclusion), and not political science. For the next ten minutes, the professor explained she thought abortion was murder and it was a sin. Of course, yesterday during class a superior professor performed a peer review...we might have a more inclusive professor next week.

Final Words from HF

Whether you're pro-choice or pro-life, be respectful of all opinions. If it's better to not talk about it, don't. I have a friend who is pro-life, we have kept our close friendship (she is one of my bridesmaids, in fact) by not talking politics. My moto is "the political arena is not in your friends living room." Protest, call and write to your legislator, work to be on the ballot, and allow discussion, those are the ways to change.

Fight the good fight! Have a wonderful week!

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

Scewed Compromising

Most women I know have a disturbing habit of agreeing to a scewed compromise, including myself. Instead of choosing the best option for them, the final decision will be affected by a spouse or family. Whether it be choosing to go back to school, location to live, or a career, our choice feels as though it still isn't our own. Why is this?? Why do we have a need to please those around us? Is this a "gateway" of turning into a doormat?

While I understand the idea of "meeting in the middle," the "middle" has a scew. I'm not saying the other party is trying to manipulate or pushing for their agenda consciously, but I am saying this can create a habit of constant compromise and later resentment. Have you ever seen the show "Snapped" on the Investigative Discovery channel?

I have found myself in a pool of resentment. It's not the other party's fault, I mean I was the one who chose to compromise. BUT in the last year and a half I have decided to put my foot down. If I do not agree with the final decision, and see it does not benefit both them and ME, then it's time to go back to the drawing board and figure something out.

I challenge you to this, as well. You are the main character in your story. Act like it! If you find yourself being inconvenienced for another person, ask yourself "why?" Why should their commute be shorter? Why should their chore list be shorter, especially if you split the bills down the middle (having a vagina/being feminine doesn't equate to being a servant)? Why should you make all the meals if the bills are split (once again, having a vagina/being feminine doesn't equate to mandated cooking duty)?

Also, if you read those questions and discover, "Wait, my partner does all of this." You have entered the first stage of realizing things are not equal in your relationship. I'm not here to tell you what a "proper relationship should look like, but if both of you are working and splitting bills then maybe, just maybe, other responsibilities should be, as well. I know several couples where one spouse in the relationship has  taken  full advantage of compromiser. Just so some future trolls can calm down before they get a workout on their keyboard, I 100% disagree with this, as well. If you're a stay-at-home spouse whose job it is to clean up the house (or whatever) and your partner is comfortable with the situation, cool beans! If you're a stay-at-home mom/dad, first of all thank you for doing one of the toughest jobs out there and second I'm assuming that was a decision made by you and your partner together.

BUT if you're taking advantage of a situation that only benefits you, you are kind of being an a-hole and infringing on someone's resources/life. Why do that? Be an independent badass. Honestly, it's one of the most empowering things to be. Relying on someone to do everything, may screw you over in the end. The worst part is there's no excuse. You can't blame the ending of a relationship on them not having money or being lazy, because then you'd be a hypocrite. No one likes a hypocrite.

Scewed compromising for the person you love with full consent (gotta love that word!) and awareness of the outcome is one thing, but making a habit of it without a following, more balanced compromise can put a relationship in a downward spiral. For instance, my fiancé and I live a decent drive away from my job and school, but this compromise allows him to get free training for his future career (his training is based on location). Our more balanced compromise is moving closer to my job and school (about 30 minutes less of a commute).

I hope my words have either inspired you to stand by what you want, along with understanding benefits should be seen on both sides of a compromise. Just always remember, you're the protagonist in your life. You are important and should speak up if you want change.

Side note, if you're in the US and intend on marching this Saturday, be safe! Also, if there are protestors on the other side, remember why we're marching! Have a wonderful week!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Create Support & Spread Awareness

If you could pick a city to match your mentality on life, where would you be? Tokyo, super busy with the lights always on? Any rural town, wide open and more relaxed? Anchorage, beautiful, but possibly extremely depressive during the time without sun? Once you have chosen a location, analyze it for a moment. Now, are you content with that location? If not, what needs to be done to change that?

Above is a thought experiment to help kick off something that intimately affects approximately 6 people for every event. Those 6 people may be parents, siblings, other family members, and friends. This pandemic is suicide among our loved ones. In hindsight, professionals and loved ones will remember moments that could be translated into signs of major depression and the rituals that tend to be done before a person attempts suicide. These signs could be as blatant as telling the people around them about their plans or as silent as giving important items to loved ones as if enacting their will.

Statistics on Suicide

Found at American Foundation of Suicide Prevention

If you're currently having suicidal thoughts, you’re not alone. According to the CDC, 3.9% of people in the United States have had thoughts of attempting suicide and 1.1% has made plans. Approximately 40% of suicides are committed by people between the ages 45-65 and 85-plus. While most suicides are committed more often by older to middle aged white men, suicidal ideations and plans are more often set by females than males in the adolescent age range(1). Lastly, untreated and undiagnosed depression is the leading cause of suicide. While the last statement may seem obvious, it can be the easiest to miss. Many people will see the signs of depression and think, "they're just having a rough time" or "there are people in way worse circumstances." Those assumptions of another person's feelings will only isolate them more. With the increase of awareness, the signs will hopefully be seen before an attempt is made and counseling will be sought out.

Loved One Showing Signs?

Through my time and training spent as a volunteer advocate, I have learned some of the myths and misconceptions when speaking to someone who is stating they are suicidal. A major misconception is asking a person if they have thought of the details. If someone discloses to you they have been thinking about killing themselves, find out exactly what they mean. Have they thought about when? How? Where? Contrary to prior beliefs, asking a person about what they have planned, will not instigate the attempt. If anything, this will help the person realize the gravity of what they are saying. If the details are not planned, provide immediate, consistent support and consider resources to help with depression. If they know the details, it’s time to get immediate help from a professional. 

A feeling of hopelessness tends to not be permanent. With support and proper counseling, hope can be restored. In fact, I went to a Specialized Medical Training class and one of the topics discussed was about depression and suicidal ideations. During the lecture, the Golden Gate bridge was brought up.

Kevin Hines, in the video below, survived what most have not. Hines was quoted saying in a video by BuzzFeed,

"The millisecond my hands left the rail, it was an instant regret."

Since its opening, there have been 2,000 people attempt suicide by jumping from the bridge, only 1% have survived. 

Words from HF

I hope if you're reading this, you have found some helpful information and resources. If you're experiencing depression, please, know you are loved. No matter what unfortunate events have happened or words that have been said, you are an important part of someones life, especially your own. 

If you're giving support to someone who is surviving depression, thank you. You are a hero in your story and should be recognized. Keep up the work and feel free to also call the hotlines and crisis lines. The advocates and counselors may help you cope with the situation and provide further information about support.

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

Resources

If you are in need of a hotline for more information on prevention, visit SuicidePreventionLifeLine.org or call 1-800-273-8255 (for the United States). For the more national hotlines visit this link. Find more crisis lines at CrisisTextLine.org.

References

1 Mueller, A. S., James, W., Abrutyn, S., & Levin, M. L. (2015). RESEARCH AND PRACTICE. Suicide Ideation and Bullying Among US Adolescents: Examining the Intersections of Sexual Orientation, Gender, and Race/Ethnicity. American Journal Of Public Health, 105(5), 980-985. doi:10.2105/AJPH.2014.302391

Say No to Slut Shaming

When you first think of Melania Trump, what comes to your mind? If it helps, write them down on a piece of paper. Now, look at what you wrote down and put a tally by the things that you would have not known if she wasn’t married to Donald Trump, President-elect. I’ll be honest, if it wasn’t for the election, I wouldn’t even know her name. I’m not interested in his business antics or reality show.

Now I ask, why are so many people directing their hate and shaming on her? She won’t even be staying in the White House (Trump’s daughter will be his first lady…. yes, America becoming more and more creepy). The slut shaming against Melania has been so blatant and crude, even some of the most liberal people I know are becoming what we fight to end. 

Slut shaming Melania because of a man is playing right into the dirty, greedy patriarchal hands that keep women “in their place.” Instead of shaming another woman to “get at” her husband, we need to come together to ensure knowledge and awareness is spread among our fellow women about policies that will be passed by the dangerous men in charge.

The shaming includes making front of her accent or the fact she is not American born. I understand the hypocrisy by President-Elect Trump, but in the end, she is a legal citizen of the United States. Liberals making rally cries against Melania’s being an immigrant reinforces the conservative notion “that immigrants need to go back from where they’re from.” We have lost the few allies in the executive branch and wasting time/energy by taking cheap shots will not further our goals for equality.

Side tangent: Speaking of equality, I recently got in a Facebook discussion (somewhat respectful) about whether LGBT rights are in danger with the new administration. Pence’s actions while Governor of Indiana, clearly show his dislike of anyone different than him….*cough* *cough* *douche bag*.

I got a little side tracked. Our country is in for rough four years and we cannot break our resilience or conviction. Let’s concentrate on protecting and supporting each other.

Have a wonderful week!

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist