Where's the Respect?

This ranty episode discusses topics ranging from wedding frustrations to social policy. Get ready to follow several tangents to get to the end.

Also, the name hasn't changed from WIC, that is the new name. The website was a bit confusing about the name change, so let me know if you could decode it.

Adventure Double Standard

In this week's episode, I talk about the fear of being attacked while walking alone, especially on trails. It also includes additional puppy notices and wine slurring!

Articles:

Are Runners Likely to be Targets of Violent Crime from Science Based Running

Facts and Statistics from National Sex Offender Public Website (NSOPW)

This is How Women Feel About Walking Alone at Night in Their Own Neighborhoods from Washington Post

Guilty Feminist Moment #2

Vicariously Shaming

TV has ruined me! My vicarious living refuses to coincide with my feminist views. For instance, I have been watching a Netflix show, Peaky Blinders. Fabulous acting and scene set up, the show is based in England, 1919. we are only a half of season in. In this show there is an operative, Grace, working for the national coppers. She has been given a mission to seduce the head of the gang, Tommy, to get intell about the illegal activity. (Spoiler alert: she follows through with the mission then resigns, before turning down a proposal from her copper boss [ewwwy]. She has chosen to stay as bar-maid for Tommy's family bar and, I'm assuming, pursue the relationship with the gang leader.)

Well, I am officially at the point of wanting Grace to give up her values and fall in love with Tommy. I am even starting to not like her character for betraying Tommy...how messed up is that?! Instead of saying, "what a bad ass woman!" or "thanks to her, a major gang could be stopped," I am judging her. In my mind, she is not her character, but instead just a love interest.

I know this may sound ridiculous, but it is only one example of many times I have easily judged someone on the magic box. This makes it easier and easier to judge women around me.

Values Without Judgement

Since the election, I have had many discussions concerning abortion, something most people did not discuss before. I myself am pro-choice. As the phrase suggests, I will support your opinion of what abortion may be and what you chose with your reproductive organs. However, shaming or judging women with the opposite view or of those who have had an abortion will not be tolerated.

However, I can see why they may be so distraught about abortion. Imagine being told since you were a small child that abortion was murder of a beautiful, innocent baby. If I was conditioned that way, of course I would feel righteous in the fight against "baby murdering."

In one of my classes, a professor has chosen to use the classroom as a political platform. At one point asking I and another student if we were "right, center, or left." Both of us answered left. Next the professor vocally assumed in front of the class we were both pro-choice (I am unsure of the other students position). This was one of many times, the professor explained her political view, voicing her "disappointment" in the Black Lives Matter movement and the Women's March following the inauguration. Keep in mind, this class I am speaking about is an introduction course for Social Work (one of the core values is about diversity and inclusion), and not political science. For the next ten minutes, the professor explained she thought abortion was murder and it was a sin. Of course, yesterday during class a superior professor performed a peer review...we might have a more inclusive professor next week.

Final Words from HF

Whether you're pro-choice or pro-life, be respectful of all opinions. If it's better to not talk about it, don't. I have a friend who is pro-life, we have kept our close friendship (she is one of my bridesmaids, in fact) by not talking politics. My moto is "the political arena is not in your friends living room." Protest, call and write to your legislator, work to be on the ballot, and allow discussion, those are the ways to change.

Fight the good fight! Have a wonderful week!

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

Say No to Slut Shaming

When you first think of Melania Trump, what comes to your mind? If it helps, write them down on a piece of paper. Now, look at what you wrote down and put a tally by the things that you would have not known if she wasn’t married to Donald Trump, President-elect. I’ll be honest, if it wasn’t for the election, I wouldn’t even know her name. I’m not interested in his business antics or reality show.

Now I ask, why are so many people directing their hate and shaming on her? She won’t even be staying in the White House (Trump’s daughter will be his first lady…. yes, America becoming more and more creepy). The slut shaming against Melania has been so blatant and crude, even some of the most liberal people I know are becoming what we fight to end. 

Slut shaming Melania because of a man is playing right into the dirty, greedy patriarchal hands that keep women “in their place.” Instead of shaming another woman to “get at” her husband, we need to come together to ensure knowledge and awareness is spread among our fellow women about policies that will be passed by the dangerous men in charge.

The shaming includes making front of her accent or the fact she is not American born. I understand the hypocrisy by President-Elect Trump, but in the end, she is a legal citizen of the United States. Liberals making rally cries against Melania’s being an immigrant reinforces the conservative notion “that immigrants need to go back from where they’re from.” We have lost the few allies in the executive branch and wasting time/energy by taking cheap shots will not further our goals for equality.

Side tangent: Speaking of equality, I recently got in a Facebook discussion (somewhat respectful) about whether LGBT rights are in danger with the new administration. Pence’s actions while Governor of Indiana, clearly show his dislike of anyone different than him….*cough* *cough* *douche bag*.

I got a little side tracked. Our country is in for rough four years and we cannot break our resilience or conviction. Let’s concentrate on protecting and supporting each other.

Have a wonderful week!

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

Being a Feminist AND Engaged

When I first became engaged to my amazing man hunk, I had some major conflicts to settle within myself. First, would I change my name? Second, who am I going to piss off when I make my decision?

I, personally, enjoy the idea of changing my name. It won't be a new me, I'm already way too awesome to start that over. However, it will kick start a new chapter in my life. As expected, my mother, and the general feminist ideology, do not find the idea so pleasant. For the last six months, this battle has been rolling around my head.

In an article on Bustle by Bibi Deitz, the idea of changing your name can be seen as a feminist act. Changing my name is a choice that can only be decided by me. Who is going to the DMV? I am. Who is going to the Social Security office? I am. Who is changing their information with their employer? I am. The choice must be made before the actions. Although it may not align with most feminists' ideology concerning marriage, it is a personal choice that should be respected. Shaming each other won't do any good. If it is seen as wrong by someone, how does shaming help? Two wrongs do not make a right. ("Wrong" is relative in this statement.) 

One of my favorite values is respecting choices of others. It is no ones position to make up someones mind, and vice versa. This, however, creates a lot of conflict between the feminist I have grown into and the culture around me. 

The Ozarks is made up of mostly Scotch-Irish and German (on the northern parts). The idea of a woman being submissive, especially in public, has been bred in our culture for generations. (Even though I have plenty of stories from older generations about women being the dominate partner behind closed doors, concerning finances and discipline.) The perception of an obedient and quiet woman has been drooled over by men in every culture, ours just had isolation to allow that mentality to stay for as long as it has. (Native Americans were even wary of some parts of the Ozarks due to terrain.)

Although, in my mind, I know the practice is patriarchal and only enables the system to stay in place, I have been raised with the tradition a woman takes her forever love's name when she takes his hand. As much as I want to say "I would never do that" or "My name doesn't need to change to be in harmony with someone," my feelings don't align with those statements. I enjoy the idea of having my husband's last name for unity with future offspring, which is a super controversial statement.

Jill Filipovic wrote an article explaining if changing your surname was a valid reason for unity "make it the wife's." Many women are beginning to not change their surname. According to the New York Times in 2015, approximately 20 percent of women married around the time kept their surnames, higher than the 14 percent from the 1980s. From my personal experience, this revolution has not spread in the Ozarks, especially more rural areas. The majority of women I know that have recently gotten married has changed their surname to the husband's. 

Another idea is to reject using the phrase "maiden name," whether you change your name or not. Brita Long explain in her article "I Didn't Keep My Maiden Name" that although she did not change her name she refuses to refer to her last name as a "maiden name." She goes into detail about the history of the phrase and that even keeping your last name can still be degrading by referring to your last name being "unmarried" and "virgin."

As you have read, this is not the easiest decision to make. I'm sure people from with any of the opinions listed will have a few things to say to me along with a wagging finger. All I have to say is, I will respect your choices, so please respect mine.

As for my final verdict on what my surname will be...I guess we'll all find out in six months.

Have a wonderful week! 

Sincerely,

Hillbilly Feminist

Oh Yeah, I Said 'Feminist'

It is amazing how offended people get when someone says "feminist." I could literally hear people's butt holes pucker and see their eyes go wide from fear of the two hour speech on 21st century feminism ideology. When some hear the "f" word, the image of strong willed woman who have never used a razor and doesn't wear a bra pop in their head. This woman is yelling and slashing down all of the men in sight. As much as I admire this made up woman, this is normally not the case.

People, especially men, have been trained to fear the growth of power among women in society. If you ask me, which you are if you're reading this, that is freaking ridiculous! Women getting equal rights implies things will then be, well, equal. We are not planning on putting men in chains or having public castrations. My only advice is they need to calm the fuck down!

When I first told my fiance of my feminist ways, he was a wee bit nervous. Before he asked about the length of my armpit hair, I asked him if he believed in equal rights and pay for women. He said, "Yes, of course." With a big grin on my face and hands on my hips, I informed him, he in fact was also a feminist (he still won't admit it....for now).

Within the past year, I have embraced my feminist-ness, especially during the election. Women have fought and died for us to vote, why waste that? Keep their voices alive. Increasing rights and awareness is started with votes. Policy change is not simple and needs people to come out and vote!

Women in the U.S. have worked hard to get where we are. According to Wikipedia (don't forget to donate!), there have been three waves of feminism - suffrage, cultural, and global feminism. Most recently, we have entered a fourth wave concerning reproductive rights, male feminism, and support for transgender peoples. These are some scary times, politically speaking. Stay aware and be an informed citizen. That can be your biggest weapon against injustice!

Last thought, don't be ashamed of being a feminist. Shout it from the top of a roof top if you want to! Instead of being scared of what others will think, show them there should be no fear of equality.

Have a great week, ya'll!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Be 100% You (Video)

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

"You are you! That is truer than true! No one alive can be you-er than you!" -Dr. Seuss

"Always be a first rate version of yourself and not a second rate version of someone else." - Judy Garland

You are beautiful and deserve respect! No one has the right to tear you down. You have the right to walk away from that person without a blink.

I hope this message can find some people who are struggling with their confidence or is an environment filled with disrespect and degradation.

Keep your head up high and show the world just how bad ass you truly are!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

Hear Bon Roar

Let's see if I can get this straight. The stereotypical Ozarks woman will be quiet and minor mannered. Before staying out late or going out with friends she will ask permission from her male spouse. She will blush and shy away from "locker room talk." She knows her place, which is barefoot, pregnant, and permanently planted in the kitchen. If you have any other stereotypes to share feel free to comment or email.

Now that we got that out of the way, it's time to introduce you to a true bad ass woman, born and raised in the Ozarks. Bon Tindle has fought for the houseless*, refugees, and people living below the poverty line. During the interview with Bon, she explained she was never like the girl who was praised for being "so easy to get along with," adding "that ain't me." Instead, she has taken an assertive and take'm by the balls approach, which has assisted her in pushing through the challenges she has had for being a woman in a conservative area.

Having faced many obstacles within her lifetime, Bon has not let it tear her down or dampen her fire. For example, Bon mentioned a time she was working as middle management at a small sales business in Springfield. After confronting upper management about an employee in a subordinate position making $8,000 more than her, the only excuse was "he has kids."

Bon did not take this reason lightly. "Just because I keep my uterus in check doesn't mean I deserve less and I've done this and this and this," was Bon's response. "I ended up leaving the company because they wouldn't increase my wages at all and it was simply because I was a woman. Every other man at that level made more than me by a significant amount."

Bon has been active in local protests and movements by standing with the protesters, writing articles about the events/issues, and being constantly aware of the rights of the people. During the Slut Walk in 2015, the Springfield city council passed a law for more restrictions on indecent exposure. Bon stayed aware of this and was not shy to voice her concerns about the coincidence of a law being passed effecting the dress of women and the soon approaching peaceful assembly, the Slut Walk. According to the Springfield News-Leader,  councilmen Burnett was quoted saying he was opposed to the protest, even stating it was "appalling" to him. Later, Bon and Burnett met, coming to some agreement on the actions and beliefs of both parties. After this point, Burnett became seemingly more aware of the issues of the community on a citizen level.

Bon has also worked closely with the homeless population in Springfield, including taking supplies to homeless camps, writing articles about the injustices happening, and attending city council meetings to confront the issue head on.She has been known to gather food, clothing, hygiene products, and other essentials, then taking them herself to homeless camps. All after meeting the leader of the camp to ensure all needs have been met. Her passion for the homeless began when she was attacked and soon after became homeless.

"Everyone just thought I couldn't keep my shit together, in reality, I was completely destroyed inside because no one knew what had happened they just thought I was a screwed up kid. First of all, just having been through the experience, but then also seeing how the system is slanted against people."

Acting as Secretary for Springfield Welcome Home, Bon, along with many other volunteers, are there to help refugees coming into Southwest Missouri. The organization provides living essentials and the support of a community. The Springfield group started in December 2015 in response to the Syrian refugee crisis.

Bon's challenges and accomplishments have led to her badassness. I'm ending this with a little piece of advice from Bon, "Don't be afraid to say 'fuck you' and don't be afraid to walk away. You do not need everyone and not everyone needs you. I think we are so trained to be people pleasers that if someone doesn't like us [then] we failed, don't be afraid to fail in that kind of way."

Continue to rock on and have a wonderful day, my lovely readers!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

(P.S. Look up Bon Tindle on Facebook and Twitter to see what else she does in the community! Also, she has frequent community chats at Mudhouse, in Springfield downtown.)

*I was corrected by a man in mid interview with Bon at Mudhouse, as someone who is "houseless" he prefered the term. He is the expert in his life. Possible post about houselessness to come.

Officially Hello! (Video)

Yep, that's me. I'm 23 years old, a student, engaged (happily), full-time employee, and no longer a "closet feminist." Please, let me know if you have any neat ideas about a post, credit will be given if applicable. Let's get this started!

Sincerely,
Hillbilly Feminist

(P.S. I got a little rambly, and if it bugs you......sorry (refer to blog about saying sorry too much).)